Today's Question: Why?

I won't bore you with my political or religious thoughts today. I've beaten those issues to a pulp and need to relax a bit. So--I'll take today's blog to relationship issues. Lovely, yes? I know you're excited. So here is how this goes. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy drags girl along for years with the promise of forever. Boy decides when forever will take place. Boy doesn't share this information with girl. Girl gets frustrated and starts voicing frustration. Boy gets tired of hearing frustration. Still, there's no forever in sight. Why is it that social protocol outlines that man asks woman for marriage, not the other way around? Why do the guys get all in a huff and puff if the woman reverses this role and asks the man for his hand in marriage? It's ridiculous. It's the 21st century. So, my thought is this. If you are dragging your partner along, speed things up. There are a lot of things that are involved with getting married and it is simply not fair to drag your partner along--especially if your partner is a habitual PLANNER and does not like surprises in her life. Just get the ring and get it over with. The next 50 years will be bliss. (ha.)

In God I Trust

I see nothing wrong with your choice of religion and am often saddened that people think they should choose for you. I don't believe my God or my Savior would want that of anyone. I strongly believe the Trinity wishes you to demonstrate your Christian beliefs through your actions, not your words. (no condemnation, my friends) I grew up hearing fire and brimstone from friends and family. I just couldn't imagine a God --or our Savior--truly following through with such a threat when all I ever hear is Peace, Love and Acceptance. Hmmm? So--on my trend of political rants I throw in my religious rant (as it seems appropriate for this post). This country (the United States) was created to provide religious freedom, and for that I am grateful. I don't believe our Founding Fathers created the freedom of religious rights to allow people to judge. I also don't believe that added "freedom of religion" in our Bill of Rights for some people to tell other people how and when they should believe in their God. It breaks my heart that the God this country was founded on is being removed from anything and everything that others feel He doesn't belong. (if you need me to be specific, schools, public buildings, the PLEDGE of ALLEGIANCE)... I have been reading "Brother Odd" by Dean Koontz. In it I found a passage that struck me as down right evil...but something that occurs in our social system on a day to day basis. "Long before she ever considered the life of the convent, Sister Miriam had been a social worker in Los Angeles, an employee of the federal government. She worked with teenage girls from disadvantaged families, striving to rescue them from gang life and other horrors. Most of this I know from Sister Angela, the mother superior, because Sister Miriam not only doesn't toot her own horn--she does not have a horn to toot. As a challenge to a young girl named Jalissa, an intelligent fourteen-year-old who had great promise but who had been on the gang path and about to acquire a gang tattoo, Miriam had said, 'Girl, what do I have to do to make you think how you're trading a full life for a withered one? I talk sense to you, but it doesn't matter. I cry for you, you're amused. Do I have to BLEED for you to get your attention?' She [Sister Miriam] then offered a deal: If Jalissa would promise, for thirty days, to stay away from friends who were in a gang or who hung out with a gang, and if she would not get a gang tattoo the following day as she intended, Miriam would take her at her word and would have her own inner lip tattoed with what she called 'a symbol of my gang.' (sidenote: the tattoois on her lower lip and reads 'Deo gratias' which is Latin for 'Thanks be to God') An audience of twelve at-risk girls, including Jalissa, gathered to watch, wince, and squirm as the tattooist performed his needlework. Miriam refused topical anesthetics. She had chosen the tender tissue of the inner lip because the cringe factor would impress the girls. She bled. Tears flowed, but she made not one sound of pain. That level of committment and the inventive ways she expressed it made Miriam an effective counselor. These years later, Jalissa has two college degrees and is an executive in the hotel industry. Miriam rescued many other girls from the lives of crime, squalor, and depravity. You might expect that one day she would become the subject of a movie with Halle Berry in the title role. Instead, a parent complained about the spiritual element that was part of Miriam's counseling strategy. As a government employee, she was sued by an organization of activist attorneys on the grounds of separation of church and state. They wanted her to cut spiritual references from her counseling and they insisted that Deo Gratias be either obscured with another tattoo or expunged. They believed that in the privacy of counseling sessions, she would peel down her lip and corrupt untold numbers of young girls. ...the court sided with the activists." So--why did I include such a long passage? Well, it's simple. Why on earth, with our social system the way it is today, are people concerned about how social workers are FIXING the system? If it works--don't change it. WHY does it matter that Miriam brought her love of Christ into her counseling. It breaks my heart that people are so wrapped up in themselves, that a nation--created based on Christian ideas--now caters to each and every individual group rather than the nation as a whole. This is now creating a lack of national pride and a lack of national identity. What a scary thought. Will there even be a United States of America in 10 years? This Godless world scares me.

Violence in the City...

So--there's an 8 part feature story in the Times Picayune this week. Yesterday (Sunday) was the first part, today was the second part and it will continue throughout the week. It's a heart breaking tale about a young man (17) that lived in the 7th ward of New Orleans that was gunned down by not one but two different guns. He was walking down the street with a buddy going to get a late night snack. The 7th ward is a part of the city that brings fear with just the mention of its name. Gangsters run the inner-city and control every action of its residents. It's a terrible story--but more often than not one becomes numb to such reports of violence and begins to ignore them. This story is different than most and caught my attention. The victim was a 17 year old altar boy, working on his confirmation. A high school student with a high school sweetheart. A young man that sounds a lot like the young men I have known in my lifetime. What is more devastating, this victim had NO record, as most of the murder victims from this part of the city do. Was he in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or, was he simply great at not getting caught? I suppose none of us will know--or maybe this 8 part series will reveal to us what happened at the end? Like I said, who knows. The thing that inspired me to blog about this particular story is the responses posted on the TP page. It's heartbreaking in itself, the ignorance that still lingers in this world. Some people are screaming "it's because he's black, all black people are horrible!" while others are screaming, "it's because he's black, no black people have a chance at life." Excuses are flying, but there have been no logical explanations offered up. Why? I must agree that a lot of this tragedy could be avoided if the children in the inner-cities were raised with any kind of hope and any kind of sense of accomplishment. When one KNOWS he has a chance to make it in society, he is a lot more apt to TRY to make it in said society. When one is told from birth and each and every day of his life that he is worthless and will never amount to anything, one is a lot more apt to give up before he even begins trying. So--yes, it takes a village (education system, etc.) to raise a child...but the village needs to stand firm and MAKE mama and daddy do the majority of the work and go on from there. If mama and daddy have a sense of accomplishment somewhere in their lives, they're a lot more likely to impress on their children that THEY also have a chance to make it. Here's an idea--if mama and daddy are CAPABLE of working (and no, being lazy and uneducated is not an excuse of being incapable to work), pull their government checks and MAKE them go out there to work. I've seen PLENTY of advertisements for work at the local convenient stores and fast food joints. You don't even need a high school diploma to work there--so NO excuses. Finally, the city will never get better with the attitudes expressed quite often in these viewer posts. Running away won't fix the problem. Blaming races won't fix the problem. Becoming proactive in your city and ignoring the color of one's skin will be a beginning. Don't ignore the violence, step up and try to put an end to it. It's not race that is the issue, either--it's a socioeconomic deal. And those of you that cry and scream "it's race, it's race" are doing nothing to help--except teaching children that it is ok to write off life's hardships because they have a certain color skin. I mourn for New Orleans and have for quite sometime. The city holds a very near and dear place in my heart and has for 10 years now (ahhh...a hint to you about me). I hate that people keep running from the city, rather than trying to help it. I unfortunately am not there--but still have people that are my life still residing there and fighting as hard as they can. It's a city that once enters your soul, will never leave. Well, I've said my piece for now--will return later. Til then--xoxo.

Politically Frustrated and Frightened

The following is a conversation between a female in her late twenties and a very well respected retired Major General:

(Side note: the conversation is inspired from an email circulating about Obama's latest trip to Afghanistan. "As the Soldiers where lined up to shake his hand he blew them off and
didn't say a word as he went into the conference room to meet the General. As he
finished, the vehicles took him to the ClamShell (pretty much a big top tent that military personnel can play basketball or work out in with weights) so he could take his publicity pictures playing basketball. He again shunned the opportunity to talk to Soldiers to thank them for their service. So really he was just here to make a showing for the American's back home
that he is their candidate for President. I think that if you are going to make an effort to come all the way over here you would thank those that are providing the freedom that they are providing for you. I swear we got more thanks from the NBA Basketball Players or the Dallas
Cowboy Cheer leaders than from one of the Senators, who wants to be the President of the United States. I just don't understand how anyone would want him to be our Commander-and-Chief. It was almost that he was scared to be around those that provide the freedom for him and our great country.")

And the conversation begins:
Female: "He definitely cares more about his image than anything else. That's
comforting."

RET Maj. Gen: "We live in a society where the media picks who they love, and facts
don't matter. If you want to change that, we need to kick a lot of folks out of Congress - especially any who have supported such stupid legislation as SB2433 or the Employee Free Choice Act (includes all Arkansas reps, I believe), and who have done nothing to fix the gas
price issue, such as authorizing drilling offshore and in ANWR. If they don't have the sense to do that, and party means more to them than their constituency so they support Democratic idiocy and Obama, we need to kick them out."

Female: "I can't, for the life of me, understand how people think they're making
the world a BETTER place. Especially the media. I think we were better off in the 30s, 40s and 50s when we were in blissful peace without the media brainwashing us. I'm embarrassed to admit I went to school with those people that are in the media now."

RET Maj. Gen: "Some people grow up and become self-reliant adults, some need parents
their entire lives. The media (most of it) is enamored with the idea that government, with cool, "intellectual", non-religious, liberals in charge, can be parents to us all. That is the neurosis you are dealing with. Look at how many of them did what you did, and took the first opportunity to wean yourself off any dependence on your parents - how many are still living with or indirectly supported by someone else?"

Female: "Yes...good point. I know plenty of people (mostly all hard core liberal)
that are still dependent on their parents, at 25-30. Sad. They need Big Brother. Always.
And...Big Brother scares me. Terribly."

RET Maj. Gen: "Worse, as SB2433 indicates, these folks want an even bigger brother than
the federal government - that bill, sponsored by Obama, would have us give 850B in aid over the next three years to the UN to distribute as those anti-American socialists see fit. We would also be placed under International law on subjects such as the environment, labor rules, etc.
So that when you vote you change or influence nothing, and the US government over time becomes a mere middle manager for the larger world government. These people want John Lennon's "Imagine" to be put in place, with no borders, nations, churches - what they don't realize is that when that happens, unless that world government is armed, omnipresent and ruthless, there will be anarchy and chaos. I won't even get into what happens to free speech and freedom of religion. Just remember that Bridget Bardot went to jail in France for saying the
muslims should shut up and quit rioting."

Female: "What's funny is that all the people campaigning for such a world will
also be the first to yell and holler "where's my government?" "where's my freedom of speech?" "where's my protection?" when all hell breaks loose. I have decided I'm not personally going down w/out a fight. "

Conversation at this point has ended for the time being...

With that said...I must admit I live in a deep fear these days. Almost that we are witnessing the Second Coming. The Book of Revelation outlines events leading up to the end of our physical world, including the introduction of the Anti-Christ: "The anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal.... the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, will destroy everything." Hmmm...if I recall from the news casts I've viewed lately, I'd say Mr. Obama is more concerned with his global appeal than with his national appeal (point made: his recent trip to Berlin). The people are "flocking" to him. I'm not one to usually bring my religious beliefs into my political views (though please make no mistake, many of my religious beliefs help determine my political views), and I'm not sure that I believe Obama is the Anti-Christ.

I AM concerned that Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He's a JUNIOR senator. A first term Senator. What does he know about foreign policy, and while I'm at it...what does he know about national policy? Hmmm.... except to say what he thinks others want to hear? From Obama's lips to my blog: "People of Berlin, people of the world, this is our moment. This is our time," he declared. What moment? What time? WTF is he talking about? Why is he campaigning to a bunch of Europeans? What about us? The Americans. Who he wants to LEAD. He is a globalist on issues such as taxes and distributing our nation's wealth, but opposes free trade because he needs the unions to get elected. Try to figure that one out! *Please insert a tone of sarcasm while reading the following quote: "We are all one big socialist tribe, and our US ascendancy as a nation richer than all others is disturbing, so we have to give it away to make the less fortunate not despise us and, say, blow up our buildings"-RET Maj. Gen. *Please remove tone of sarcasm at this point: The terrorists are going to blow us up whether we give them money or not. It's not our wealth they hate. It's the ideas and freedom that our nation stands for that they hate. It's the fact that I can post this blog without fear of retribution that they hate. It's the fact that I'm a woman, voicing an opinion that they hate.

Above the song "Imagine" by John Lennon was referenced...what a perfect world. Too bad the only song that comes to mind when I think of today's society is REM's "End of the World."

I'm out...til then, xoxo.

Friendship

"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends."- Japanese Proverb There are many different relationships a human being will experience in a lifetime. For purposes of this post, let us refer to said human being as a female, from the South, with a traditional Southern family. This female will from birth, experience the mother/daughter, father/daughter relationship and quite often the sibling relationship (because most families have more than one child). The family bond is quite often a bond that is impossible to break. Soon there after, she'll become familiar with the extended family and the parents' friends. As the child grows, she is exposed to many different types of relationships day in and day out. But, one of the most important relationships the child is exposed to--that we as humans experience-- is friendship. As young ones, we have many "best friends" and often change our friends as quickly as we change our clothing! As we grow, we learn to value the benefits of having good girlfriends around, but can still find situations that can quickly sever the bond. As we reach adolescence and early adulthood, we begin to learn that not only those people we went to school with and worked with are our friends, but also those people we've known since birth--mothers, fathers, siblings--are great friends, too. We also learn that popularity is not important when choosing friends-- that friendship is more than giggling and playing together (whether it be on the playground, or later in life, at the bar). Friendship is waking up in 3am and listening to the heartbreak of a late night fight. It's being able to go somewhere without worrying about makeup or what you're wearing--because you're loved for who you are. Friendship is confidence, support, reality, strength; it is the words you seek (and don't seek) and the silence that relaxes you. It's sharing a favorite tv show, a favorite movie, a favorite book...sharing stories and experiences to help those loved ones learn from past mistakes/triumphs. Friendship is a life necessity. I thank God for my friends. Each and every day. "Hold a true friend with both hands."- Nigerian Proverb

Childless=Clueless?

So--being a woman my age, not married and without children, I find myself stereotyped as "clueless" when it comes to children. Never mind the fact that I am exposed to children quite often through my family and friends. I'm not a mother, so I don't understand. Ok, I get it. I don't know what it is like to be 100% responsible for another human being. I don't know what it is like to love something so much it hurts. You're right. These mothers are right about the fact that I don’t have children and I don’t know what it’s like to be a mother. But, by observation I DO know how children are supposed to behave--and what parental actions are preventing children from behaving this way. You DO NOT have to be a parent to understand that if you ignore a child's continuous bad behavior--nothing good is going to come from it. Letting your child get anything he or she wants is not going to produce positive results. You don’t have to be a parent to know that. I’m not meaning to knock their parenting skills—but some of the things they let their children do are unbelievable. Even at 19 and 20 I recognized that a parent should not let a child get away with everything. Let’s start with the basics:

• Table manners. Children these days have none.
• Respecting authority/adults. Children these days have none.
• Earning privileges. Children these days believe they are entitled to everything they have and have to do nothing to earn the "fun stuff." Can you blame them? They have TVs, DVD players and video games in their bedrooms. They have personal laptops by age 5 and even cell phones!

There seems to be a huge trend on allowing the child to make decisions he or she is not capable of making. Children can't decide what is best for them UNTIL THEY ARE TAUGHT what is best for them. You don’t have to be a parent to see or know that. You don't have to be a parent to know that it is actually quite simple to make the little kid sit at the table and behave—or suffer the consequences. And this day and age, consequences do not have to be physically hitting a child (though I believe a good spanking works every now and then). It is highly likely that the kid has video games, DVD players, TV, or a cell phone. Start there. Take THAT away from him. Perfect consequence. You don't get what you want until you act the way that is expected of you. Some mothers just don't want to take any criticism (and it is usually constructive criticism offered up by--OTHER MOTHERS). I don't know, maybe they are afraid of how society will see them (but honestly--why would you care how society sees you if it is for the best interest of your child)? Parents don't want to nit-pick their children. Ok. But when your child has NO respect for authorities, NO respect for rules, NO concept of what is right or wrong and NO concept of how to treat other people (peers, siblings, adults, etc) I think you, as a parent, are WAY BEYOND the point of nit-picking. I think you are most likely headed down a very dark path once adolesence hits. I'd invest in some locks on your bedroom doors.

So here's to the mothers that would rather be their child's friend than their child's teacher. And here's to us--those childless women in the world--may we learn how NOT to raise our children by the mothers shining examples!

Wake Up. Seriously.

Next on the list. Mothers and their children. Now, I'm not a mother--and there is not a whole lot I can say about this topic. BUT--if other adults don't like to be around your child, you have a problem. If other children don't like to be around your child, you have a problem. If animals don't like to be around your child, you have a problem. Your CHILD does not have a problem, YOU have the problem. Accept that there may be something wrong--a learning disorder, a psychological disorder, something...and help that child to GET BETTER. Don't ignore the problem OR assume that society will correct the problem for you. And DON'T tell that child to "tattle" on adults that have been "mean to you." That is sick--immature--and SELFISH. Don't get offended when other adults discipline your child. As a matter of fact, what you should be doing is sitting back and evaluating the situation. Why are other adults disciplining your child? Could it possibly be that your child gets no discipline at home? That your child ACTS OUT because he is craving attention and will get it any way he knows how? Just wake up. Seriously. The second you gave birth to that child, your life changed. That "all about me" attitude should have walked out the door. It's not about you anymore. It's about your child. And raising that child to be the best human being possible. I'd say--running off friends, talking back to adults, no sense of authority, no sense of respect, no sense of doing wrong--heh, while we're at it, HARMING ANIMALS ON PURPOSE--is not the right track. Wake up.

RANT

As I have many, many, many things I can rant about...I'll narrow this entry down to one. Confession...I am living with my boyfriend. Have for about 6 months now. We have pets--one dog who is 5 and another who is 9 weeks old. The 9 week old might as well be an infant. Into everything and needs constant attention. Well, who on earth do you suppose provides that? It sure as hell isn't daddy. And...go to the grocery store every now and then. I am exhausted after work, too...seeing how I typically work more hours than you, it would make sense? Oh? What's that? You're tired because you went to play golf?!? Poor baby. Go to the store. If you want dinner, that is. What chromosome is it that makes us morph into Betty Crocker and Joe Man of the House? Ugh. Yes, I could understand if my full time job was to take care of the house and pets (thankfully, NO children yet). BUT, that's not my full time job. Not even close to it. I work 8-9 hours a day. At a company. That could care less how tired you are. And don't you dare say anything about the dishes. Thanks for doing the laundry. It would never get done. But go to the freaking store. Really.